Filled with deep-seated vacuum
Is everyday life’s gist
Like a stranger in my own skin
I exist
Never letting up for a moment too
This sadness nowhere
Loses sight of my heart
At times with a smirk,
Inching stealthily on its tiptoes
Grief embraces me
Desist playing with me, oh my sorrow
This game of mockery
Never could I sleep
Having somewhere misplaced
My happiness, just like
After filling in name and address
one forgets by
casually putting it away
Strangely agonising
is this helplessness
It’s often also noticed,
From the shackles on the psyche
The embodied mind tries to break free
Thirsting for the unknown and
In search of a mysterious hope
The instincts are on a perpetual spree
Along the way,
On the path of life
The flowers that have bloomed blithely
Which of these do I filch,
To adorn it in the mind precisely
Am afraid,
Have no inkling of this complexity,
Unravelling it, perhaps too naive to know
Whom to embrace as the beloved and
Whose affection to forgo
It’s hard to fathom a sensation of heartburn
And a storm in the eyes
Why is every soul anxious in this city
I fail to surmise
Conceding that heart is alive and kicking,
Can one probe a reason for it to pulsate
For what reason apathetic and lifeless
Like a stone is its state.
Inexplicable, oh my friends
Is the extent of loneliness
How come, till the line of sight
there is wilderness
Is there anything distinct
In me, that reflects
The mirror seems to give
An impression of being perplexed
A loner in this town
Through the afternoon and well past sundown
Looks around for means of subsistence
And a dwelling with endless persistence
The day is akin to a hollow vessel
And night resembles a pitch-dark pit
These gloomy lonesome eyes
In lieu of tears, smoke omit
The motive to live none at all, however
With thoughts to perish as an excuse, wrestles.
Having never witnessed these longer than life
Roads reach their destination
They keep sprinting across
Not for a moment halting at any station
In this strange metropolis,
Seeks out a recognizable face to criss-cross
The heart once again seeks,
Those leisurely days and nights
Having to sit around
In the imagination of the beloved
Soaking up the soft winter sunshine
Lounging in the courtyard
Pulling over the eyes, your
Stole as a shadow
At times lying prone and at others
Switching to a posture, lateral
Alternatively, on those hot summer nights,
When the easterly winds blow
Staying awake till late
On the spread of cold white sheets
To carry on gazing at the stars,
Sprawling on the roof
Or else in snowy winters
Atop any mountain
Listening to echoing silences
of the valley
Savouring those mushy moments
And holding them in the mind’s eye
On the path of misery
The one who abandoned me
Why shouldn’t the world
Accuse you of treachery
Leading on through fake dreams
May someone upon you cheat
Let your heart too
Like a mirror shatter
In a fashion similar to mine.
The one to incinerate
Every desire of mine
In copiously flowing tears
May you drown
Go away, the nemesis of love
Let the shore of desires
Never get to be in your grasp
The one to rock my boat
by raising a storm in the heart
In every alley, jilter
You gain notoriety
May you yearn for love
In every gathering
Yet run into lonesomeness
The one to make me
A portrait of sadness
It has to do with destiny, have none
To hold grouse against, neither blame to toss
The one to walk two steps along
That companion never did stumble across
Wonder at those blessed with happiness
One of a kind to whom amity did befit
My dreams like delicate petals lay shattered,
For love never blossomed, perhaps it was beyond the remit.
Peculiar seems this juncture, where have I arrived?
Everyone appears alien to me here.
Whom do I confide woes in, nobody would pay heed,
Conjecture of hope is a fallacy sheer.
Hoping someone would reach out or
Give-a-shout, patiently I stood around
Inebriation held me together in life, since
Fidelity, friendship, love bequeathed no rewards abound.
Nostalgia recalls to mind,
Those vibrant moments of togetherness
Woven with beautiful dreams
Envisaged with you
Sometimes walking along the shaded pathway,
While on occasions getting scorched in sunlight
Together, you and I, even soaked,
Under the pouring heavens too.
At times never realizing how the day,
Had descended into a twilight
Every so often, wading through the night,
Counting stars in the sky
No matter how resplendently the season,
Bedecks itself with blooming flowers
Without you, even the cheery Spring
gives the impression of chilly Autumn to me
With Vermilion filled parted tresses,
And feet adorned with red dye
Even the bride-like gorgeous sunset
In your absence, ironically stings me.
You and I till yesterday, as companions
Were inseparable at heart
What transpired in the journey today
That did us apart?
Though my heart fumes
Yet remaining silent is the aim,
I am not the one to complain about
For that matter, attribute blame.
How is it that the desires, yours and mine
Got crumbled and could never align
Wonder why the darkness never sheds light
Till miles ahead, no imminent brightness is in sight,
How did this dark-night come to life?
Causing an uncalled for strife
As much as I want to depart from your world
The more my love for you gets unfurled.
Our dreams that once got fructified
Are now holding my hands tied
The proclamation that in death too
You shall always be by my side
At every juncture of life,
hand in hand stride
Why then, amidst our journey
You chose to walk away and spurned me
