The word sorry is synonymous with apology. It is a common familiar word but it is potent and magical in its efficacy. Small insignificant wrongs like bumping accidentally into someone or stepping on someone’s foot elicits a spontaneous even nonchalant apology from the perpetrator. Such superficial apologies reflect a polite well groomed individual but they cannot precisely be categorised as true meaningful apology. Apology with sincerity and remorse and secondly atonement has to ensue.
Both these steps are complementary to each other. A mere articulation of the word divest of sincerity, repentance and atonement is futile and nothing but a charade. Tremendous courage is entailed to face the victim of our wrong doing and apologise. They are the positive conscientious ones who are at peace only after making amends for their misdeeds. Sorry does not cost much, yet achieves much. The mileage of an earnest apology is multifaceted.
The word sorry in itself is imbued with so much potential and power. Within a fraction of a second grave mistakes are diluted, tepid and estranged relations are brought alive, animosity and rancour are dissolved, misunderstanding resolved and tense situation eased out resulting in harmony and rapprochement. With apology we are relieved of guilt and resultant misery. Hence cathartic relief is obtained.
Mustering enough courage to apologise can be a stepping stone for our evolvement and personal expansion. We gain serenity, we get purged and empowered. This can be a major deterrent to untamed ego, social hierarchy, insensitivity and obduracy. Eradicate self justification. Then alone can you annihilate your ego.
There are three aspects to an individual. His persona as people think he is, as he himself thinks he is and what he actually is. People judge you mostly by your outward manifestation in terms of your personality, attire, the way you carry yourself and your status in society. You judge yourself by what you think you are capable of doing, while others judge you by what you have already done.
An individual’s perception about himself is mostly coloured by the twin conditions of self importance and ego albeit in varying degrees. Very few are keen to find out the real self hidden within to ascertain ones true identity. Knowledge of the self is one of the most important fundamentals of philosophy. Whosoever departs from this world without having realised his own inner world, to him life has been of no service. It remains unlived like any other undone deed.
In self-awareness there is immense joy. The self is consciousness, supra consciousness the knowledge of pure existence. All the pain and misery is a result of not knowing the self. The divine in us manifests itself only when we subject ourselves to certain discipline. The divine operates in us, but it requires an effort to make it shine forth. The epistemological corollary is that man gets knowledge by looking inward either at his own consciousness or at the revelation it receives from another superior consciousness. Condition of the mind is the most important theme of Indian Philosophy and the first step towards realisation.
Life can never be completely free of problems. When only one person lives there will be no problem but when there is more than one person, problem becomes a given. No two persons think alike, look alike or have similar tastes. So there are bound to be differences and judgements born thereof. This creates disharmony and tension. What is the solution to live a life of Peace?
Truth is multi dimensional. Truth has also so many perspectives. Through our eyes we can see anything, either this or that. With the possibilities of different perceptions there is always scope of difference of opinion and conflict. It is difficult to understand the truth. The greatest truth is the truth of conduct.
There is a fear in the world. We are scared of sorrow. When there is possession, there is fear. Where there is no possession, there is no fear. Giving up possession and observing restraint is the solution to today’s problems. The essence to a fearless life, a peaceful life is through restraint.
The human being has to set limits to all activities. Observe limits to consumption, possession. Limitless consumption is the reason for our problems. Anger, delusion, ego and greed are veiling the truth from our vision. All these passions are born with the desire to possess beyond our limits. Let us try to overcome our greed for possession.
Interaction with people is an inevitable part of life. It’s natural as we are social animals. Interaction becomes a complex interplay of emotions and ego, establishing hierarchal patterns that social structure mandates. Unpleasant interactions result from the view that the perceived identity that we have about others does not connect with the perceived identity the others have of us. Interaction is of perceptions, arguments, misunderstandings and humiliation that are unavoidable outcome of this. Our identity/ego is entirely perceptive and imaginary. Ego is variable, modifiable and mutable construct, it is not fixed. A variable parameter cannot be absolute. While we conclude that the other person cannot understand us, do we understand ourselves?
The self that we commonly assume ourselves to be add a base of memories with conviction of a unique discrete identity, a composite of impressions we have of ourselves and the impression we feel others have about us. The former is a complex of identity and ego while the latter represents the superego. Interaction with other nurtures the superego and lends meaning to the script of life. Using relationship as an emotional mirror to assess and evaluate one’s own identity, only generates a chaotic pluralities of identity. Stress and anxiety arise out of our efforts to build and maintain the image we want others to have of us.
Reaction based self esteem is susceptible to wild vacillation. It triggers approval seeking behaviour that is directed towards appreciation and recognition. This sort of behaviour is a form of self abuse for it puts others evaluation ahead of what we truly want for ourselves. One need not be contemptuous or completely disregard others opinion but they should not become the driving force of our life.
Stoic self assessment that is stable lends a great degree of security and self assurance in any interaction or relationship. A steady interaction between two stable individuals supports the beautiful edifice of a meaningful relationship. Leaning on one another only up to a point can never support the superstructure of a sustainable relationship. . Misunderstanding becomes common place and can be expensive. Relationships pursued solely with expectation or ego gratification are doomed from the start. Every relationship has rights and responsibilities and asserting only the former works to the detriment of any interaction. Relationships are meant to aid and search for our true self. They must help us evolve rather than serve self assertion.